Members

Justin Patterson – Co-founder and inspiration for the name of the club. His 4 shots to get out of the bunker on number 11 at Tega Cay Golf Club not only provided the 60-degree wedge that now adorns our coveted trophy, but it overshadowed his ghastly, soul snatching battle with the gorse on number 10 at Sheep Ranch. He had a pedestrian showing at Kiawah last year, highlighted by a great front nine, while still drunk from his antics the night before, at The Ocean Course. Unfortunately he sobered up at the turn and went back to his normal mediocre game. Whistling Straits is booked. Send me your credit card info for 2024 boys. Oh, and he loves you guys.

Geoff Lux – “Lucky” got his nickname from his last name and from outkicking his coverage, not from his golf game as that is all hard work. Lucky is a fan of the analytics and is a student of the game. Lucky had quite the offseason, going under the knife to fix his ticker. He is now the 6 million dollar man, back and healthy and his game is rounding into form. He will be one to watch this year as he will dangerous with a higher handicap.

Shukri – He rolled into the group last year and took down the crown. A solid final round at the Ocean Course secured him the jacket and the most coveted trophy in sports. With an “updated” Grint posting of his new clubs he seems to be sending an ominous shot across the bow that he wants to be the first back to back winner in our clubs long, distinguished history. He will have a target on his back this year so we will see if he can summon up some more “Brown Magic” and avoid any stray goats and other farm animals to repeat.

Garrett Callahan – SoCal will be one of the betting favorites to take the crown this year. He has the locally sourced game from the country clubs of Orange County that should play well in the heart of Florida. The secluded resort at Streamsong should be a positive for him as he will have limited opportunities to be “Callahandsy”, but we won’t rule out him finding a way. He will be right in the mix if he can avoid a blowup round and excessive White Claw consumption.

Lawrence Young – Larry is back in the workforce and that has cut down his golfing to 1 or 2 times per week. Those rounds have been on his home course that lacks the challenges the pressure a tournament of this magnitude brings, and with a playing partner that is not conducive to good golf. He is however, the Vegas odds favorite so far. He is by far the best putter in the group, which will come in handy, but it will be the mental game of keeping his s*it together after a bad shot or hole. He should be right there in the mix at the end.

Michael Webb –Michael had a solid showing in his first year with the group. He is having a heater of a year with his Atlanta Braves winning the World Series and his Georgia Bulldogs taking down the National Championship. If his game is on, he will be right there at the end as he has shown the ability to go low and drain some putts. If the Pernicious gets the better of him, we may find him looking like a homeless man passed out on the deck of his villa the night before the final round.

Nate Bull – Nate was the Rear Admirial last year but he is looking to improve his finish this year at Streamsong. He provided the shot of the year when his caddy said “165 carry over the water” and he didn’t hesitate to say “driver” and knock in on the green. He then drained a 20 footer for birdie with an emphatic “Fuck Yeah!” to the delight of the crowds at The Ocean Course. He has been playing plenty of rounds at The Tam so he game will be as sharp as can be coming into the tournament.

Jordan Clark – JC has been really quiet since the final day at Kiawah. And by quiet, he hasn’t said a word and we have had to send authorities to his house to do Wellness Checks on a few different occasions to make sure he was still with us. Coming off a decent showing at Kiawah, he will be a darkhouse as there is not much information about his current game since he doesn’t show up on the Grint often. He will also not be catching any footballs from Uncle Rico this year show he will have all of his digits working properly.

John Kennedy – Holy hell. JFK came rolling into Kiawah as an unknown with a booming wicked pissa Boston accent, and quickly jumped out to a first day lead and carried that through the second round. We will never know what happened to him on that Sunday, maybe it was his penchant for passing out sitting up with a hammer in his lip and a BL in his hand, or maybe it is Pete Fucking Dye cursing him from the grave. But that 12 at The Ocean Course will live infamy and he will be trying to exorcise the demons from that hole this year at Streamsong.

Ryan Milhous – The most efficient dresser in the group, he can bring whatever accessories he needs on the course with his daily attire of cargo pants. He did not have a great showing last year at Kiawah but he is looking to improve this year. He will try to avoid being hit by cars and hitting the roofs of condos like he did during the practice round at Seabrook in 2021. Another non-Grinter, so intel on his game is light but he will need a strong showing to be in the mix at the end.

Steve Smale – The inaugural champion, Steve comes into Streamsong after a middling finish at Kiawah last year. He has transitioned from “Florida Man” to the Carolinas so he hasn’t been able to play as much as in the past. He will still be dangerous as always due to his handicap so he will be one to watch yet again this year.

Brendan Hadley – Co-founder Hads is another wild card with as good a chance as anyone to take down the title. He made the turn with a 2 shot lead in the final round last year but was overtaken by Shuk and that has been a driving force in his training for Streamsong. His handicap is lower this year so he will have to avoid shitting his pants (literally as it almost happened last year) and he will be able to take down the championship.

Todd Anderson – the runner-up in 2020's inaugural trip to Bandon, TA is sitting out this year due to family obligations. He will be missed this year, but his absence opens opportunity for the rest of us to climb up the leaderboard. We will have to navigate our way through the South Carolina equivalent of Drain, OR and continue our search for a “Kiawah 10” without our Captain driving the ship.